Do you too have those school nightmares? You’re late. You don’t know where to go. You haven’t done your homework. You…
Funnily enough these ‘dreams’ don’t become scarcer on the ground as old age gallops towards you, and you no longer need to subject yourself to those nightmarish searches for the correct classroom, full of people who hate you. Unless you’re a teacher, of course. As the child of one it’s one of the last careers I’d choose.
Francesca Simon must have had a few nightmares. She’s written an ‘early reader’ called Spider School, which has poor Kate starting school in the most nightmarish manner. If it can go wrong, it does.
Luckily it turns out to have had something to do with getting out of bed on the wrong side. (If I did that I’d crush the Resident IT Consultant…)
I hope this early reader story, illustrated by Tony Ross, is only read by those who are comfortable in their school, and that no inkling of spider school reaches those who are only just starting. Schools are very lovely places. Really.
(Photos by Helen Giles, who’s really looking forward to returning to – arghh..!)
Sometimes I wonder if it is my five-year-old son’s teachers who have the nightmares. It’s not so much for his behaviour as for the answers he gives them. To wit:
“You were badly behaved at the start of term. Then you were very good! Now you’re being bad again. Why?”
“I wanted to make a nice pattern.”
I’m still trying to think of a reply to that.
I love your son! Wonder who he gets it from?
The teachers will be giggling in their coffee over this.
Ew school!!!!
6 1/2 hours of pure boredom, with only a small reprieve on Fridays with double PE. And for those who don’t like PE (the maniacs!) it’s just Hell on Earth.
PE is no reprieve. The best thing about being old is not going to school.
That’s very true. But PE is the best thing there is . (except swimming)