Hippospotamus

I love Jeanne Willis’s books! Hippospotamus, which unsurprisingly has illustrations by Tony Ross, is quite a mature picture book for small children.

You could easily take it at face value; that it’s about a Hippo who discovers a puzzling spot on her behind. Hippo goes round listening to the advice of her friends, who all ‘know’ what the spot is. Except it isn’t.

But if you happen to spot (sorry) the dedication, ‘may all our lumps and bumps be this benign’ the adult reader will start looking at the book in a different light. Because most of us have probably been there, in some form or other. The worry is real, and not just for laughs. Friends are good, but not always right.

‘Hippopotamus had a spotamus… on her bottomus.’

It’s wonderful. The rhymes are most poetic, and this would be a fun book to read out loud, as long as you don’t have a worrying spotamus on your body.

Take it as red

You don’t really want to know about my red shoes. But, I have to own up to sometimes wearing them, if only to cheer me up. Red does that, but it’s a hell of a colour to carry off further north.

In case anyone needs cheering up today, here is Jeanne Willis, and she is very red.

I know full well this is no fashion column, but here is someone who gets away with red. Can you see why I very nearly stopped Jeanne outside her Edinburgh hotel for an immediate photo session?

Red means stop, anyway. And luckily we waited for a more appropriate time and place.

(Photo Helen Giles)

Bookwitch bites #24

It’s lists and launch time at bookwitch towers with my bites one day early.

Last night Keren David had a launch party for her second novel, Almost True. I wasn’t present as unfortunately there’s a limit to how frequently I can do the commute to London. And I’m afraid I’m on my way there today, although not to see the Pope if I can help it.

Gillian Philip has been shortlisted for the Royal Mail’s Scottish Children’s Book Awards, along with Barry Hutchison, Julia Donaldson, Debi Gliori, Elizabeth Laird, Cathy MacPhail, Lucinda Hare, John Fardell and Simon Puttock. Luckily there are several categories so more than one of these lovely people can win. I hope they do. Not sure what they win if they win. Stamps?

The Roald Dahl Funny Prize 2010 judges have also come up with a shortlist, or rather two shortlists, because you can’t have too many lists of whatever length:

The Funniest Book for Children Aged Six and Under

Angelica Sprocket’s Pockets by Quentin Blake

Dogs Don’t Do Ballet by Anna Kemp, illustrated by Sara Ogilvie

Dog Loves Books by Louise Yates

The Nanny Goat’s Kid by Jeanne Willis, illustrated by Tony Ross

One Smart Fish by Chris Wormell

The Scariest Monster in the World by Lee Weatherly, illustrated by Algy Craig Hall

The Funniest Book for Children Aged Seven to Fourteen

The Clumsies Make a Mess by Sorrel Anderson, illustrated by Nicola Slater

Einstein’s Underpants and How They Saved the World by Anthony McGowan

The Incredible Luck of Alfie Pluck by Jamie Rix, illustrated by Craig Shuttlewood

Mr Stink by David Walliams, illustrated by Quentin Blake

The Ogre of Oglefort by Eva Ibbotson

Withering Tights by Louise Rennison

I gather Philip Ardagh, who is one of the judges, may almost have read too many funny books in the course of duty. I believe it was something like 130, which is enough to put you off even that which you like best.

Right, I have a train to catch. See you tomorrow.

VTAs and VTBs

Outside the hotel where we were meeting with one author, we ran into another. Jeanne Willis arrived at the same time as we did, and it was all I could do not to ask her to pose for a photo there and then. Managed to contain myself.

Ever since reading that Simmone Howell was coming to the Edinburgh International Book Festival, I’d been wanting to meet up. So I’ve probably stalked her a little by email for a few months, but Simmone of the two Ms gamely turned up at the suggested spot for some tea on Tuesday afternoon. Well, not much of a tea, seeing as we could probably have sat there for hours having a good time, but not much to drink. Service wasn’t slow so much as not really there. At all.

She’s been in the UK for a few months, but is going back to Melbourne later this week. We talked Melbourne a little (not that I know it, you understand), and sex in Y A books, and how the Australian school year is arranged. She doesn’t know Adrian McKinty (yet), nor Sonya Hartnett, though they share a teacher in their pasts. Simmone was getting ready to do an event on making zines, which we didn’t have tickets for. Will see her this morning instead.

Had been going to see Andrew Sachs talking to Alexander McCall Smith, but Manuel cancelled, so I did too. At this rate my events with Mma Ramotswe’s author aren’t going too well.

So in the event the day’s only event was this VTB hearing a VTA talk about ravens. And rabbits and de-iced squirrels. (Barry Hutchison should look out.) Marcus Sedgwick did a talk on the Raven Mysteries, and he explained he was a VTA, very tired author. Courtesy of Ry****r he had flown over from Sweden where he’s been busy writing a book, and what the maneater* jellyfish didn’t manage to do, the airline did. Marcus had had two hours of sleep, he was having a bad hair day (or so he claimed), and he’d allowed himself wine with lunch, which resulted in the purchase of new boots. (Footwear purchases do happen so easily…)

Marcus proceeded to perform literary cruelty to an amphibian. He read a bit, and talked some nonsense about peanut butter, and then he made some of the assembled children take part in a short play on the stage. He even had a raven glove-puppet which had passed muster as handluggage. It seems that we are able to enjoy the Raven Mysteries, which are great fun, due to a very early graveyard encounter for young Marcus.

Sarah McIntyre, of cartoons fame, was signing at the table next to Marcus, and then the photographer persuaded Marcus to jump into the Charlotte Square mud with his new boots. Never mind. He can always buy new new boots.

Attempted to wait around for Seamus Heaney, but this photo-shy man took his time to turn up, so we sloped off to another poet. Jeanne Willis and Tony Ross had finished their event and were signing books until we took them out and asked them (reasonably politely) to pose. I suspect Tony missed the lesson on not sticking his tongue out at people.

I feel we got the better looking poet. Jeanne had warned me she’d be the one covered in tomatoes. Some tomatoes…

*Jellyfish in Swedish is maneter, and Marcus’s pun was very bad. But then, the jellyfish probably did something not very nice to him first.

(Photos by Helen Giles)

Vamoose, elk, älg, whatever, and other books

Funny how it’s almost possible to miss a new book by Meg Rosoff. When you’re me, that is. And I know the rest of you aren’t me. But, you know… And it is funny. The book. Vamoose, as it’s called. It’s about a young couple who become pregnant, and the baby turns out to be an elk. (Now, I absolutely refuse to refer to it as a moose, except I know the title sort of loses it’s pun factor this way.) And because that’s impossible in the first place, it’s obviously not true. Is it?

But it’s funny, with Meg’s sense of humour.

Infinity by Sarah Dessen is another of Puffin’s pocket money books. It’s all about roundabouts, and at first I thought it was the fun kind, but it turned out to be the road kind. Although the story does have a ferris wheel, so it all comes round, in a manner of speaking. As a big Sarah Dessen fan, I was a little disappointed in this tale, to be frank.

Roald Dahl has not been writing a new piece for the Puffin series, so what you get in Spotty Powder and other Splendiferous Secrets is a previously un-published chapter from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, plus a sort of annual diary by Roald and lots of snippets about him and Quentin Blake. So, not a lot of new stuff, but if you know what you’re getting, then it’s a must for the Dahl collector.

The Cathy Cassidy contribution to the series has yet to arrive, as it is being reprinted. I presume that means it’s a great hit already.

From the small selection I have been sampling, the best by far is Jeanne Willis’s Silly Cecil and Clever Cubs, for younger readers. But you don’t have to be young to enjoy this silly cat tail. It’s about posh cat Cecil, who is very grand, and the distinctly un-posh Cubby who simply moves in with Cecil and all his lovely food. At first Cubby isn’t good enough for Cecil, and then Cecil the crazy fat cat wants Cubby to kill him. And that’s when things get to be really amusing. Highly recommended.

To live up to the label ‘Pocket Money Puffin’ these books could have done with being cheaper than £3.99. I know children are given a lot of pocket money these days, but whereas Jeanne’s book is well worth the money, it’s not something I see a child of seven going out to buy on their own or with their own money. But as a regular book bought by an adult it’s fine.

The Dahl is OK as long as the child spending his pocket money knows it’s not new fiction. Whereas Vamoose is only half the book, with the rest of the 95 pages extracts from Just In Case and What I Was. Same but worse with Infinity, where only a third of the book is new, and 61 pages are extracts from two previous Puffin Sarah Dessen novels. For someone coming fresh to Sarah and Meg it could serve as Puffin must have intended, and is an OK introduction to some great books. For the avid fan who already owns these books, they’ve spent £2 on something they didn’t need. And I reckon that matters, especially for children.

Bookwitch bites #5

After having promised me there’d be a brand new website for, well, for some time, Jeanne Willis has finally arrived. Website-wise, that is. Internet aside, I’d say she arrived quite a while ago, because the list of books she’s written is long. The website looks good, and on the home page you get a very Hollywood sort of photo of Jeanne. Check out the lipstick! Further in, she has arranged her life in pictures, complete with kissing toads and getting married in a zoo. So that explains some of her books…

On to mermaids and other realistic creatures by Michelle Lovric. Her second children’s book The Mourning Emporium is due out towards the end of 2010. Here is what Michelle said in an online interview recently: “I am just finishing my second novel for children, which is called The Mourning Emporium, a follow-up to The Undrowned Child and it’s another fantasy adventure set in Venice. But this time my child protagonists end up in London in time for the funeral of Queen Victoria. It’s got a full complement of mystical beasts such as vampire eels and winged Syrian cats. My villains are, unusually, Australian. Being born there, I feel entitled to write bad Australians. I hope to continue with the children’s books, though I also have another idea for an adult novel – having done skin, I am now very interested in hair.”

I’m sorry I moaned about interviews recently. Well, I’m not really, but I just thought I’d better mention that I did do another musical interview last Sunday, the result of which is here. Isn’t it lucky that I learned to do ï?

And come on now, don’t be shy! It’s time to have a go at my quilt competition. Eight days left. Or have a go at me, whichever feels easiest.

Bookwitch bites #3

There are new paperbacks out now of Sally Gardner’s two French revolution novels. Both The Red Necklace and The Silver Blade have been given facelifts (not that they needed it, but you know what it’s like), and it’s the usual thing for me. I don’t need more copies of the same novels, but they do look very good. Very must-have.

I was beginning to think my mind was playing tricks on me, but then I understood. Maybe. Jeanne Willis and Lydia Monks have a sort of new book out. I’ve previously mentioned a book that’s almost identical to Zits, Glitz & Body Bits, except the title is different and the contents vary a little. So this is probably an updated version of two books. That’s what I’m guessing. It’s about all those things that girls want to know about growing up. From where I stand it’s good advice too, as long as you pay no attention to that old misguided notion that fat people need to avoid horizontal stripes and go for vertical stripes. IT’S THE OTHER WAY AROUND! Trust me. I’m a Gudrun Sjödén customer.

I’ve vowed to mention Anthony McGowan often, so consider him mentioned this week, too. Nicely mentioned, however briefly.

Theresa Breslin has a new book out in April, and I will tell you more about Prisoner of the Inquisition soon. Meanwhile, there is some sort of competition for secondary schools to enter. It’s a case of acting out the opening scene in the book, and all instructions can be found here. It’s National Drama who are working with Theresa’s publisher on this. The winning school gets books and an event with Theresa, so get acting!

The King of Tiny Things

Some more perfect poetry from Jeanne Willis with dreamlike pictures by Gwen Millward, on a subject quite similar to Linda Newbery’s Lob the other day.

Here we have two small sisters visiting their grandparents and trying sleeping in a tent in the garden. That is not going to go well, what with creepy crawlies all over the place. And it’s dark.

Then they meet a small boy, the size of a beetle, whose job it is to help small creatures in the wild, because these creatures in their turn help things to grow. And then he dies. Or does he?

I really, really need a small person to read some books to. This is one such book. Jeanne’s words have a lovely rhythm, and are crying out to be read aloud. Maybe I can read to myself?

Monday – take one

I’m working backwards here, so need to put in the earlier part of Monday before we’re into a new week. By some unexpected miracle your witch managed to fit in an unplanned visit to the Puffin presentation early afternoon. This meant even more authors and book plans in one short day, but after travelling on the same train as Scrappy the ferret, I felt up to almost anything.

I swear (sorry) that those conference rooms have shrunk in the two years since I was last there. What did they do? Wash them?

With my usual skill I plonked myself down on just the right chair to have my coat where all the attending authors could stumble over it on their way in to speak. Or on the way out. None did, though, and it was a Puffin telephone of some sort that was eventually brought down by Jeanne Willis. Or vice versa.

Jeanne was elegant in a black top with leopard skin effect (it was, wasn’t it?) trim, and white blonde hair straight out of an early 1960s film. She has two new picture books on the way, and she had everyone but me singing a song about bottoms. Apparently ‘pythons only have them in their dreams.’ And Jeanne carried some insect cadaver round in a small metal tin. (Just thought you might want to know.)

Puffin themselves will be 70 this year and, surprise surprise, they are publishing some books to celebrate. Cheap Pocket Money Puffins at £3.99, written by some real favourites of mine, which I like the sound of. Classics, naturally. Some frightfully expensive limited edition books that will cost £100.

I’ll happily try out some of their merchandise, like the Puffiny deckchairs, so a couple of samples would be most welcome. There will be samples I hope? Or at least a mug? (Hint – we could do with five.)

Eoin Colfer appeared, but only on screen. Still lovely, and he told us Artemis will be lovely too, and that just isn’t right. Charlie Higson talked about taking your children to see zombies. I don’t think so, Charlie. Trailer for the new Percy Jackson film, coming soon. Rick Riordan has a new series coming. Two new series, in actual fact. The richer authors get, the faster they write.

Cathy Cassidy was another one not caught out by my coat. She has a new ‘chocolate box’ series starting, which sounds great. I have a feeling Cathy’s only thinking of the research, however.

Vampires. Goes without saying. Samurais. Coming faster and faster. How do authors suddenly write twice as fast as before?

Alex Scarrow and David Yelland reprised their talks from November. Alex’s Time Riders is high on the TBR pile, so we’ll have to see how that goes.

The star of the show was Sophia Jansson, Tove’s niece. There is a new range of Moomins on the way, including baby board books, but where are they coming from? I believe they are writing new ones, with Sophia watching over them. What do we think of that?

There will be teen books. I’m still amazed that Sarah Dessen isn’t yet a household name in Britain. She will be! Helen Grant’s Glass Demon is coming and so is iBoy by Kevin Brooks, and I gather it’s a cross between Spiderman and The Wire. Well!

Tasty sandwiches at the end, well worth waiting for, but what do you do with over-mayonnaisey fingers when meeting authors?

I cornered Sophia Jansson before the others discovered her, and we had a discussion in Swedish about blogs and other online nonsense. She, sensibly, has no time for blogs or Facebook or Twitter. This Little My has a Tove Jansson empire to run and a lovely holiday island to spend her summers on. She told us that Moomin was first thought up by Tove’s uncle in order to scare her from having midnight snacks in his kitchen. The Moomintrolls live in the kitchen walls. Perfect for baby books then…

Christmas wishlist

I suppose it’s soon time for Christmas shopping. I’d rather not think about it, though I am planning a foray into the charity shops of Altrincham today. Don’t tell the family, please. Here are two new books for those who need something fresh.

Father Christmas features in both these picture books, as well he should. In Dear Father Christmas by Jeanne Willis you even get his address, so you can write to him yourself. I won’t, but the stickers in the back of the book will be nice to put on my other Christmas post. I love stickers! The story is about a girl’s letter to FC, and she is refreshingly uninterested in worldly goods, so I hope that’s a message which young readers can adopt.

In Where Teddy Bears Come From by Mark Burgess we have a little wolf longing for a teddy bear of his own to help him sleep. Many traditional story characters turn up while he is searching for his bear, including Red Riding Hood and the Three Little Pigs. I like the colours in Russell Ayto’s illustrations and there’s a nice retro 1960s feel to them.