Calendar girls, and boys

I’m sure you’ll all be absolutely riveted to know that the only space I have in my kitchen to hang a calendar is five inches wide. This used to be perfect for the slimline style calendars you used to be able to buy. Note the words “used to”. The choice has got worse every year, and I think I was down to cute kittens and red roses the last couple of times. The problem being that obesity has struck the slimline calendar.

So facing a choice of nothing at all last December I came up with the idea that one could always make one’s own. Cut an A4 lengthways and you are talking slim. The next clever idea was to decide to have authors instead of puppies or whatever. I thought that this way we could look at our favourites for a month before chucking them out again.

Searched the photo files for suitable pictures and eventually decided on a list of twelve. Then I put the Resident IT Consultant to work, producing a personalised calendar with birthdays and stuff. Including the day in December he called Chritsmas Day.

We started the year with Philip Pullman in a very pink shirt. Next was Son (not an author, I know) with Ryoji Arai. (Look him up if you have to.) March brought a bemused looking Eoin Colfer, followed by our April lady Caroline Lawrence. Quite a coincidence, as she has been very much in our news during April. Right now Terry Deary is looking quizzically at my messy kitchen.

After him, I’m not sure. And if you’re not there at all, it means that I either don’t have a good photo of you, or that we ran out of months and you can wait your turn until next year. Anyone who’s desperate to appear can always call round and have their photo taken. I’ll even take requests for a favourite month. Though, this being a family kitchen it is strictly authors wearing clothes.

Malorie Blackman

Malorie Blackman

3 responses to “Calendar girls, and boys

  1. Is this something else to fret about, Bookwitch? You know the kind of thing: oh, gosh, she’s got HER and HIM but not ME???? I don’t think most people realize how petty and childish most writers are!

  2. Ok, ok, next year I’ll go for a 52 page calendar then. You can all start queueing up to have your likeness taken.

    Adele, I’ll happily display your portrait on my wall forever. Though I thought you laughed at me having Philip and the ice cream for wallpaper last year. Would you like to whizz round as my screensaver?

  3. Pingback: Calendar change | Bookwitch

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