Witch Haggis?

I really resemble a Haggis.

In my youthful travels round Scotland I bought a thin book about The Haggis, which I found amusing. I particularly liked the theory of the short left leg or the short right leg, depending on whether the Haggis walks clockwise or anti-clockwise round the mountain. Later on I heard Brother-in-Law’s tale of pulling the leg (normal length, I imagine) of one of the American cousins, when they were both teenagers. She believed the silly boy’s story.

I digress.

Haggis Basher

The week before last I did something to one of my knees (right one, to be precise), which has been a real pain for the last ten days. It’s getting better. My first day of trying a short walk, round ‘The Park’ as local residents say about our triangle of streets, went OK, especially after I crossed the street to walk anti-clockwise round the inside triangle (are you still with me?). We in ‘The Park’ have the pleasure of paying for the upkeep of our (private) roads, and our pavements slant. A lot. So with this stupid knee, I found that I was more Haggis-like than I’d imagined. I need the street on my right, which is clockwise outside and anti-clockwise inside.

I’m off to Edinburgh tomorrow to visit Son’s flat before he moves out the week after. I’m not looking forward to it as much as I ought to. He lives up three flights of spiral stairs, and I almost expired last time I attempted it, with a perfectly good knee. Two good knees, now that I count. At the time I wished I’d known that he’d offered the Grandmother the service of a chair to sit on between flights.

On the other hand, Scotland is a place you go to for the climbing.

Though I’m going for some interviewing, but only if I can get down those flights again.

6 responses to “Witch Haggis?

  1. havealittletalk

    This brings to mind the character in the movie Best in Show who has two left feet. Really — that is, he really has two left feet.

    Don’t ask me why.

  2. As someone who lives in Edinburgh, I’d agree it’s not really the best place for those slightly wobbly on their feet. (Chronic back problem, and I’m not thirty yet. Sigh.) And spiral stairs are lethal.

    But have a good trip – the weather seems nice enough today, so fingers crossed. Hope it’s decent down south too, since I’m away for an interview Thur-Fri.

    Oh, and I love the haggis cartoon!

  3. Oh, and since I’m desperate enough to be shameless and you did mention you were coming to Edinburgh…

    Edinburgh University wants to cut 400 000 pounds from the budget for European Languages over the next two years, which will effectively destroy meaningful language teaching and could well doom smaller subjects including Portuguese, Russian, and in the longer term, one of only two Scandinavian Studies courses in the UK. On less than three weeks notice.

    I’d really appreciate it if you could sign the
    petition and perhaps even forward it on if you know of others who might be interested.

    Staff and students have been meeting and are protesting next Monday, but we need all the help we can get if we’re to stop this.

    My apologies for what probably amounts to spamming, but I’m seething right now. (Am finishing up a PhD in a European language. Nice to know how much the university values my subject…)

  4. I got up the stairs, and I’ve signed the petition.

    Many years ago I wore a t-shirt with the Haggis Basher design on the front. Problem was, I happened to wear it in London on the eve of a Scotland v England game, and the place was full of drunken Scots. Let’s say no more.

  5. Thanks very much, and I’m glad you managed the stairs!

    An English friend of mine lost a bet last year, which required them to wear an English rugby shirt to a ceildh. Would have been fine, had Scotland not beaten England for the first time in years that afternoon. So I sympathise.

  6. The silver lining of this slow ascent of three flights of stairs was that I was not out of breath when I got up.

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