‘Are you home?’ asks Pippi chirpily when I phone her. It’s such a hard question to answer properly. I mean, I normally am home. Just not necessarily the home she had in mind. She means Sweden when she asks that, but strictly speaking I’m ‘home’ in both places. ‘Home is where the heart is’, but then I have two hearts.

‘Go back to where you came from’ said the neighbourhood children to Son during one particularly uncharming period of his playing-out-in-the-street time. I couldn’t very well have my small boy walk all the way to the hospital on his own, even if it’s only a couple of kilometres away. Besides, what would he do once he got there? ‘Hello, will you have me back, please?’ The other children also meant Sweden when they said that.
I’m not black (well, at the moment I feel black and blue, but that’s more aches than visible bruises), so people can’t look at me and wonder ‘where I really come from’. But it seems that for anyone with a skin colour slightly darker than white you will be asked that every now and then.
I come from a country with a surprising number of Koreans, in looks and genetic background, if not terribly Korean. They have been adopted (and I’m not suggesting that adopted people don’t have a hankering for the country of their birth) and many speak only Swedish, plus whatever languages were taught at school.
So it’s with them in mind that I know it’s a good idea to avoid asking ‘where are you really from?’ Take Bali Rai. He comes from Leicester. I think. Whether he was born in the UK or not I haven’t the faintest. To me he seems British, which is what comes of growing up somewhere.
And I know for a fact that Candy Gourlay was born, grew up and was educated in the Philippines. Now she lives a sort of British life, just like I do. She can take her family to visit the Philippines, but they will never ‘come from’ there.
Someone asked me in the street if I was local. I didn’t know what they were asking. Did they perhaps want my whole history? Turned out they wanted to know if I was worth asking directions to where they wanted to go. Would have been faster to ask did I know the way to X.
Son came home from university for Christmas. Two days later he went home for a long weekend (i.e. shopping expedition to Sweden), and in early January he went home again. This time to his university abode. So many homes.

But what really set me thinking about this now, was his email the other day, saying that his tutorial that morning had been OK, actually. Except the tutor had called him an immigrant. And I need to know ‘immigrant where?’, because to my mind he isn’t, in either place. Whereas the tutor certainly is, at the present moment, but seems oblivious to this dreadful state of affairs.
So, is he home? Or home? Whatever. He has not immigrated/emigrated to or from any place. I did that.
Oh, just had a thought. Was the tutor calling him a Sassenach? Would the tutor even know about them?