Cream and other goo

Narrow escape, or what? On our travels last weekend we brought some Marmite. As luck would have it we didn’t go to Denmark, so were perfectly safe from the new Danish ban on Marmite.

You have to admire those Danes! Who’d have thought of banning something so superficially innocent? It clearly isn’t, though, and personally I have banned it from my diet. Not having much success in preventing it entering the house, though, and I suppose I have to let the Resident IT Consultant continue eating what he was brought up on. Or do I? The Oxford Professor cousin has the fondest memories of visiting as a child and marvelling over the vast Marmite tubs his IT Consultant cousin had daily access to.

(As for me, I’m not so much xenophobic, as careful around migraine triggers, and surely that’s what the Danes are also concerned with?)

We flew Germanwings with our Marmite and home again. On the return trip we decided to splash out on a hot drink each, so when the trolley came round the witch asked for ‘two teas, please’.

‘Black?’ said trolley-woman.

Now, dear reader, what would you have said at this point in the conversation?

I said ‘with milk, please.’ Except it turned out that the choice was between black tea and green tea.

And anyone but me would have seen the end result coming from miles away. Once the green tea had been dismissed, the ‘milk, please’ plea delivered cream tea. That’s cream tea as in cream in the tea, not on top of a non-existent freshly made scone with jam.

They wanted €2.50 – each – for ruining our teas.

Gypsy

Here is our Marmite-loving host’s lovely dog, Gypsy. She’s an English-speaking dog, so I’m certain that should she have offered us tea it would have come with milk. She is larger than 25 paperbacks, which is why she is still in Germany and not here at Bookwitch Towers.

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11 responses to “Cream and other goo

  1. What the heck is marmite? I’ve never seen it in the States. Nor have I heard discussion of it.
    Beautiful dog.
    It’s a shame your tea was ruined.

  2. Gypsy loves Marmite? Oh dear, have you been olying her with snacks when I wasn’t looking?

    Of course, you realise it means you’ll have to visit more often in order to keep her well supplied!

  3. Kathy, be very glad you have no idea. It’s the foulest stuff.

    Lee, I take that to be a deliberate misreading of who gobbles Marmite over there.

  4. We had a pony who had an allergy to midge bites and we were told to give her a marmite sandwich a day to ease her itchy skin. She loved them! And it helped her skin. Personally, I would rather chew class, its foul stuff.

    Gypsy looks very cuddly, I think I would have found a way to sneak her home.

  5. Who, moi? Deliberately misreading something? Surely you don’t believe I would stoop that low(e) …

  6. Lowebrow. It’s what they do.

  7. Marmite is very similar to vegemite – its a yeasty, salty, malty by-product of brewing which you either love or hate. Me, I like the stuff – lovely on toast with a bit of mature cheddar cheese, but I think perhaps you have be brought up on it to find it palatable.
    (For one woman’s take on it, see Amanda Palmer’s song on the subject – here she’s an american married to an Englishman, so knows the pain of a marmite(vegemite) loving spouse..

    And cream in tea? No, no and no again! (I don’t like cream in coffeee, either, but cream in tea is just freakish)

  8. Nope. I wasn´t here today. But if people should end up blaming Søren Pind and ban HIM, I´d say this is a happy day.

  9. Your cream *in* the tea story reminds me of when a Taiwanese man came to stay and we thought it would be nice to show him an “English” tradition (I say that carefully, as we were actually in Scotland but I *think* cream teas are English). Anyway, inevitably, he dolloped the clotted cream into his tea while our mouths were too frozen to warn him in time. He pretended it was delicious…

    Marmite – gorgeous stuff. I’m not going to go and read why Denmark has banned it, in case it’s a health reason. In which case I am probably dead already.

  10. Maybe it was delicious. To him. Yes, you are allowed nice English traditions, even in Scotland. And we foreigners are very grateful.

    How about Marmite with cream? It would dilute the awfulness somewhat.

  11. Pingback: Cream tea | CultureWitch

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