Tag Archives: Artemis Fowl

Nice and neurotic, and a nut

A nice Artemis Fowl is not a pretty sight. But it’s what you get in Artemis Fowl and the Atlantis Complex. After so many books it goes without saying that Eoin Colfer has to try the new and the shocking, and ‘ruin’ Artemis for us.

Not really ruin, though. There is method behind the madness, and there is the charming and poetic Orion to, ahem, make up for Artemis’s  shortcomings. Most seem to have something to do with bivouacs. Always a reliable thing, bivouacs.

I thought I detected a stain in my copy, so asked the obvious question of the Resident IT Consultant. Had he already read it? No, he didn’t see the need to read yet another one. That man is so wrong, you know. And I’m fairly sure he will read, and very soon. And most likely leave some remnant of tea or orange juice behind.

Nice Artemis. Yes. It’s not nice. But the boy is ill. Atlantis Complex sounds worse than chicken pox. And four is unlucky in China, as we well know. Build a bivouac.

It’s all very well having Artemis lose his grip, but I was seriously concerned for Butler for a moment, and that is serious. Mulch Diggums, on the other hand, is so reliably gallant and cowboyish as to be almost abnormal. Thankfully the toilet humour is still there.

Foaly has a few blind spots this time. About time, I say, that the centaur gets to see what it’s like ‘in the field’.

Thank goodness for Holly Short, though. Holly is the real heroine. And you know, I do believe Artemis quite likes her. It’s just that being Artemis he can’t admit to it.

And Mrs Fowl is turning into a promising character. I’d say Artemis didn’t get all his cunning from daddy Fowl. Also, should Eoin have a need to branch out, there is scope to do things with Myles and Beckett. Not to mention Orion. Perhaps they could build a bivouac?

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Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox

The ten second book. That’s all you get, but it’s the long kind of ten seconds. Before the ten seconds begin the reader meets a Kraken. I genuinely didn’t know about Krakens before last October or thereabouts, but ever since, they have popped up everywhere. I believe that by placing his Kraken in Finland, Eoin Colfer was fulfilling a promise to feature Finland in one of his books. If only he had got the sauna right…

Not to worry. Having outwitted the world’s best – or worst – criminals, there’s not a lot left for Artemis to do, except fight his own younger self. And when he does, you realise what a lovely boy he has grown into over the years. Artemis at ten is, well, interesting.

I’m convinced Eoin has got his time travelling a wee bit wrong. But, who cares? I loved Artemis Fowl and the Time Paradox. It could count as the best one yet. It was almost as though Eoin regretted having given Artemis two little brothers, as he immediately dispensed with them by hurling Artemis back eight years in time.

The two Artemises (Artemii?) test their brain powers over the last Silky Sifaka Lemur of Madagascar. N°1 turns up to help, and quantum zombies are always a bonus in a story. Older and newer versions of Butler and Mulch Diggums make for interesting situations. “We’re all mad here.”

All great fun. And then there’s the kiss. We’ve been waiting for that, and now it’s over and done with. Fabulicious.

And “I think this merits more than a wow”. It does, but what can I say? Wow.

Staying ahead of Jacqueline Wilson

Blog stats are fascinating. They are nearly as good as the phrases in search engines that get me my customers. I meant to keep a little list of the most amusing ones, but it appears to me now that maybe I forgot.

Stats. My second most read piece is the Jacqueline Wilson interview. Not surprising, I suppose, as she does have a few fans out there, and it’s not a reflection on the quality of my writing. However, the most read piece is about me. Very flattering to come before Jacqueline. Third comes the piece with the graphic pictures of Artemis Fowl. And that sounds a lot ruder than it is.

Stats for searches tell a different story. There the witch is sandwiched between the aforementioned Artemis in third place, and his good friend Holly Short, who comes top. Now why would people look more for Holly than they would the witch?