Really. It is OK not to have rooms full of books.
I know I keep coming back to this. Which I suppose means I’ve not solved the problem, once and for all.
But I had a bit of an epiphany at the Edinburgh Book Festival in August. Three authors – Candy Gourlay, Lari Don and Elizabeth Wein – talked about their early years. And someone, maybe all of them, mentioned not having had many books as children. Going to the library for something to read.
And of course, it was the same for me. Until the age of about 15, when it suddenly dawned on me that as an almost adult, I could save my pocket money and actually buy books. So I did. I know it might sound odd. But books in Sweden were expensive and mostly things adults gave you – a few of – for birthdays and Christmases. Not something you bought yourself.
I read so much. I went to the library. I was happy with what they had to offer, and didn’t mind handing books back after three weeks. Or four.
I didn’t mind that on my own shelves I had maybe a metre or two of books belonging to me. There was no prestige involved.
Whereas now, well, not only do I want to own the books I like best, and that I’ll want to read again, but I feel the need to show off a little, as well as having a selection of books in case someone comes to stay who wants to read.
The more I think of this, the more idiotic it sounds.
I need help. Someone to climb up to the back row of the top shelf (that’s the As and the Ns), so I can start being ruthless. Perhaps.
(Almost) every time I walk past the spot at Edinburgh Waverley station where Menzies used to be, I bless the day when I discovered you could buy Alistair McLean paperbacks there for 30 pence. Even though this was in 1973, it felt impossibly cheap to me, a young witch who knew books cost a fortune.
I grabbed a few books and went up to the girl at the counter, stabbing my finger against the printed price on the backs of those books, asking ‘is that really the price?’
It really was, and from then on, my luggage always contained at least twenty new paperbacks each time I left the country. I’d simply had no idea.
And with a start like that, it’s hardly surprising I now have a habit that has to be broken. Not the reading, but the owning.